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If you have found your way to this part of my web site you may be searching for answers to the unbearable pain of being betrayed by someone you love.
You might be feeling stuck in the middle of a whirlwind of pain and confusion; You cannot go backwards and the pain of moving forward is just too much to bear. At the root of the pain is abandonment. Any abandonment in our intimate relationships causes us trauma. This deep wounding causes us to bond to the one who is hurting us causing a cycle of abandonment and pain. This may be hard to accept or understand.
This feeling of abandonment shifts into fear and terror, changing our physical state and we are left in a highly aroused state of hyper-vigilance waiting for the pain to happen again all the while not being able to leave the situation or person that is hurting us. Something inside of us has died and we enter into a perpetual state of grieving. We experience loss and shock and disbelief at what is going on in our lives.
We may believe the betrayal is our fault. All the while asking ourselves why didn’t I try harder? It must have been something I did.
The thing is, you will never heal the wound unless you identify and deal with the betrayal bonding.
Betrayal Trauma is a real thing.
The pain is real, the loss is real and the grieving is real.
Do your friends and family say, you should be over that by now’ or ‘just leave, get out!’ and you just keep feeling the original pain over and over. You do not have to suffer on your own. Our experienced therapists understand betrayal trauma and are here to help. Please reach out.